I've mentioned this a couple times already, but I'm going to say it again...it's been a rough year...or so.
This blog has helped me to express some of the emotions wrapped up tightly in the little fortress of me, but I still proceed with caution. I admit that I'm slightly jealous of those who can just put it all out there. Mind you, I like to see it written succinctly and straight forward as opposed to a 20 paragraph whiny diatribe, but there is something beautiful about bleeding without concern.
I've always been a smile-on-the-outside-bleed-on-the-inside kinda gal. I choose very carefully when it comes to my sounding boards, and how much I decide to share at a particular moment. It doesn't mean I don't trust my friends - my friends are truly among the great loves of my life - but I've often chosen to just work through my struggles on my own.
That said...It's been a melancholy year. One full of change, and heartbreak - moving, finding a new job, working my ass off, missing my kid, and often feeling a bit lost in this maze, trying to figure out who the hell I am. It's that empty nest thing...I've been a mom for so many years, completely wrapped up in my kid, and when he moved out...I was left with...what?
so, I've been sifting through my emotions, and "checking the horizon," and re-learning my role as a mother in this new format.
One of my touchstones shared this song with me a while back...and it's been in my head all day...so I figured it was a good time to share it with you.
Colin Hay "Waiting for my real life to begin"
Prompt #84: "I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it." ~ Steven Wright. right? write!