Showing posts with label empty nest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empty nest. Show all posts

Monday, August 22, 2011

change your mind...

"I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls."   
~ Anaïs Nin 

I'm a big fan of change.

If something isn't moving right it my life, a job, a town, a relationship, I make a change...exit quietly stage left and move on to the next role.

A year ago, when my son was 13, he decided to make a change in his life, thereby altering mine, and moved to Seattle to live with his father.

It wasn't entirely unexpected, it was just sooner than I would have chosen. I knew one day my child would grow up, move on and make a life of his own, but I thought I had a few more years before having to deal with it. I wanted more time.

It's been rough. ups and downs. lots of tears. I miss him every day that he's not with me. but I've had to adjust to it.

I made some changes of my own, in order to try to make my life "right" again. I moved (several times, trying to find what felt right to me) and landed, happily, back in Louisville, Kentucky - it's the first place that ever really felt like "home" to me...coming back was like stepping into an old photograph, a happy memory.

So, here I am. Getting my feet back under my weight. Discovering how hollow that empty nest can sometimes feel, and cherishing the moments I get to spend with my son during those not-quite-long-enough visits.

I'm adapting, simply because that is what I do. I'm pliable, but tough. stubborn. strong-willed. determined.

but man! I miss my kid when he's not here. 

Prompt #69: How pliable are you? do you embrace change or resist it? do you adapt easily, or fight tooth and nail when change invites itself in?