change your mind...

"I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls."   

~ Anaïs Nin 

I'm a big fan of change.

If something isn't moving right it my life, a job, a town, a relationship, I make a change...exit quietly stage left and move on to the next role.

A year ago, when my son was 13, he decided to make a change in his life, thereby altering mine, and moved to Seattle to live with his father.

It wasn't entirely unexpected, it was just sooner than I would have chosen. I knew one day my child would grow up, move on and make a life of his own, but I thought I had a few more years before having to deal with it. I wanted more time.

It's been rough. ups and downs. lots of tears. I miss him every day that he's not with me. but I've had to adjust to it.

I made some changes of my own, in order to try to make my life "right" again. I moved (several times, trying to find what felt right to me) and landed, happily, back in Louisville, Kentucky - it's the first place that ever really felt like "home" to me...coming back was like stepping into an old photograph, a happy memory.

So, here I am. Getting my feet back under my weight. Discovering how hollow that empty nest can sometimes feel, and cherishing the moments I get to spend with my son during those not-quite-long-enough visits.

I'm adapting, simply because that is what I do. I'm pliable, but tough. stubborn. strong-willed. determined.

but man! I miss my kid when he's not here. 

Prompt #69: How pliable are you? do you embrace change or resist it? do you adapt easily, or fight tooth and nail when change invites itself in?

in a nutshell...

My mother used to write a column for several small-town newspapers, it was called "County Roads." (which she compiled a small smattering of for her collection Song of County Roads - published by Silver Boomer Books in September of 2009)

so...long story short, I remember one of her columns ended with a line like "that's me, in a nutshell...which is where I belong." I always loved that line. makes me giggle right out loud, even now, when I can't remember the rest of the article.

so (segue) I present you with my last 10 months...in a nutshell.

at the tail end of October 2010, I left Texas... (all photo credits: keg)

...went to Seattle until just after Christmas...

...off to Minot, North Dakota until mid-February...

...and made a permanent move to Louisville February 13, 2011...

so there you go...a brief little photo montage of my (almost) past year. I'm settled in, with two jobs, I'm writing some poetry again after a few long months of not quite enough motivation or inspiration, I'm moved in to a groovy apartment and things feel like they are calming down a bit, falling into place and adapting to a wonderful stride.


Prompt #64: describe or depict your life in a nutshell.

Dancing Matt...

When I get really stressed out, I need to do one of three things...

I need to laugh hysterically for at least 15 minutes until my face hurts.

I need to cry. big fat tears that make my eyes puff up.

or I need to scream. or throw things.

that's four. sometimes I don't like to count properly. 2+2 sometimes equals 5. if I say it does.

there is a video on youtube that allows me to do two of these things...laugh and cry...it really just makes me insanely happy. If I'm feeling a little bit blue, it cheers me up like little else can.

Where the Hell is Matt?

I don't feel like I can even describe in proper words much glee this video brings me...the dancing, the music, the locations, the people...it's just...incredible to me.

The music touches my soul in that place where language doesn't matter...it's the voice, sound, tone...the symphony...

The dancing makes me giggle. laugh out loud even. but there is a deep beauty in this universal language...and to me, watching all these people, from various locales, joining him and dancing with him...just...makes me smile. It's a celebration!

and the video ends at Gas Works Park. Seattle. where I spent time playing and running around and probably dancing with my longest best friend.

Today...there is no prompt...#57

I just want to share my favourite video with you.

Winding down...and giggling

Arrived back in Texas today from my nearly month-long Seattle trip.

My dear friend made the drive back with me. we always laugh a lot together. my abs hurt today.

We first met about seven years ago while working for the same company. We used to laugh together so much that our boss would walk down the hall and carefully shut our door, because our laughter would echo down the hallway and disturb our co-workers. They always wondered what kind of fun they were having while they toiled away. (side note: we always got our work done)

So one night, about two weeks ago, she handed me a few gifts she'd collected for me. The first thing she gave me was a little block of wood, about six inches long, one word painted across it: Giggle.

We giggled for 30 minutes.

Prompt #21 - What or who makes you happy? Who do you giggle with? What makes you laugh?