roller coaster, yo-yo, angry vortex...release...

I don't tend to share a lot. my emotions are mine to swaddle and smother and keep locked away.

except when writing poetry (which is probably why I had a huge panic attack when Three Thousand Doors was sent off to the printer last year.)

Oh gawd! I'm going to throw up...
it's like...opening up my journal (if I kept one) for all the world to read...f$@#.....

yep. those are pretty much the thoughts that went racing through my head, one after the other, repeatedly.

panic. vomit. journal. swear.

rinse. repeat.

that said, it's been a rough year. stumbling through changes, jumping off emotional cliffs, building wings while falling, tearing my wings to shreds on twisted branches, tumbling through frantic waves of emotion.

tears. panic. uncertainty. frustration. anger.

it took awhile, but I finally found myself brave enough to admit (slowly...to myself at first...and then out loud to a few precious friends) that I was broken, lost, upside down...and I needed to find my own way back. build new platforms. recharge. reconstruct.

it reminds me of a line from an article I read years ago..."I don't care who you are, at some point, life will bring you to your knees." (I wish I could remember who or what the article was about, but it was more than a decade ago)

the thing is, when you're on your knees, you have to take a deep breath, and somehow...find your footing again.

Prompt #59: how do YOU fix broken?

in the words of the poet....

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~ William Wordsworth

Thank you William, that's exactly what I aspire to do every time I scratch out a poem. The breathings of my heart...yes exactly...did you read my mind?

little bits of my soul go into my writing, take wing on my words, and soar out into the ether...

some things take a while to surrender; work up the courage to give them to the world. some things may never be shared. that's okay. some writing is just for the writer.

Prompt #58: Are you filling your paper with the breathings of your heart? write something that you've kept locked within, something that you've put off writing.

Dancing Matt...

When I get really stressed out, I need to do one of three things...

I need to laugh hysterically for at least 15 minutes until my face hurts.

I need to cry. big fat tears that make my eyes puff up.

or I need to scream. or throw things.

that's four. sometimes I don't like to count properly. 2+2 sometimes equals 5. if I say it does.

there is a video on youtube that allows me to do two of these things...laugh and cry...it really just makes me insanely happy. If I'm feeling a little bit blue, it cheers me up like little else can.

Where the Hell is Matt?

I don't feel like I can even describe in proper words much glee this video brings me...the dancing, the music, the locations, the people...it's just...incredible to me.

The music touches my soul in that place where language doesn't matter...it's the voice, sound, tone...the symphony...

The dancing makes me giggle. laugh out loud even. but there is a deep beauty in this universal language...and to me, watching all these people, from various locales, joining him and dancing with him...just...makes me smile. It's a celebration!

and the video ends at Gas Works Park. Seattle. where I spent time playing and running around and probably dancing with my longest best friend.

Today...there is no prompt...#57

I just want to share my favourite video with you.

Start Now...

you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.

~ Stephen King (On Writing)

Prompt #56: What are you waiting for? What have you always wanted to do? Stop waiting, start doing. Do it now.

shine on...

some people just shine.

they glow...an inner shimmer...it draws you to them...makes you curious...makes you...have. to. know. what. makes. them. radiate.

the thing is...we all shine. sometimes, one just has to find what it is...that makes you glimmer.

Prompt #55: what illuminates your soul?

a wee homage to American Beauty...

photo credit: keg

and...a hint. to a project in the works.

prompt #54: What is your first thought when you look at this photograph? (if you click on the photo, you should be able to view the larger image)

Happy Anniversary!

It's officially the one year anniversary of The Absinthe Road. I had intended to announce the winners of the giveaway today and give away two copies of Three Thousand Doors...but no one entered. so...

instead, I'm saying Happy Birthday to The Absinthe Road. my toddler...if you will.

Prompt #53: This week, I'd like to hear from you. Tell me what you like about this blog, or what you don't like. Tell me what changes you'd like to see in the next year, what you'd like to see more of.