it's all about the Story...

I am on the road again today.

Travelling to Oklahoma City to see my darling soulmate best friend. The passing of her grandmother necessitated an impromptu trip - which I'm happy about because it means I get to see her before Thanksgiving - but it is of course, bittersweet.

So...for today I'm writing less. But also...thinking about the many facets of life. Where are we going? what are we doing? what do you want, need, desire from your life and your choices? one of my favourite bands to listen to and to watch live Flogging Molly. Have a listen.

Prompt #16 - What is your story so far?

~ Remember: leave a comment any time in August

have your name entered in the drawing for a copy of my poetry collection

Three Thousand Doors

two winners will be announced September 6, 2010 ~ 

Simplify...

Not so easy for a pack rat.

I save everything! old letters and cards. old computers that don't work. childhood memorabilia. I have too much stuff.

I have at least eight different lotions to choose from on my vanity - and five different brands of shampoo and conditioner in the shower.

I will say it again - I have too much stuff.

but efforts to simplify, to weed out the unnecessary; the superfluous, often fail.
I mean, really, they're just things, why shouldn't I just get rid of them?

because...there are memories tied to them.

I can't throw away the box of old letters in the garage - it doesn't matter that I haven't opened it once in five years - there are letters from my father in that box. I couldn't possible bear to part with the box of clothes Mrs. Bayer lovingly stitched with her own hands when I was 7 simply because she adored me. My elephant collection carefully wrapped and packed in boxes for the last seven years because I've had no place to put them.

This "stuff" is tied to my past, and the memories make me smile, laugh out loud, cry. I wouldn't want to let go of that. 

besides, when I do get a chance to open those boxes, lifting out treasure after treasure, it's like having the best Christmas ever!

prompt #15 - what do you struggle to simplify? what is the hardest thing to let go?

~ don't forget to leave a comment to be entered to win of two copies of  

Three Thousand Doors

winners will be announced on September 6, 2010 ~

Fear can make a donkey attack a lion...(Arab Proverb)

Fear is an ugly word. an ugly four-letter word. 

A few months ago I had an email conversation with a dear friend of mine (we've known each other since high school.) We were discussing the upcoming release of my poetry collection (which is causing some mild anxiety - because of course, I want it to be PERFECT!)

I used a variety of words to describe my state of mind, and wrote: 

it's not fear.  it's just slight antsy-ness. a mixture of anxious and something else.  not worry or concern - but jitters.  like going on stage. excited, but mildly nauseated.  

and she repeated the word...FEAR.

I said:

but they (my words) don't sound as bad as FEAR! ...and it's not something that would keep me from doing it. there's simply a YIKES about being so close

Then, my long-time friend, my confidant, touchstone...the woman who calls bullshit on me, said:

You can’t escape fear, it’s an autonomic response.  A good one, as it’s what makes you haul ass so the saber-toothed tiger doesn’t eat you.  Or in this case motivates Karen’s DELUXE gene  – the Yikes factor – to avoid perceived failure.

Fear by itself is simply a motivator.  Fear is being on the verge, fear is the unknown, fear is the state right before a revelation, breakthrough etc.  It’s what happens on the other side of fear that can be good or “ugly.”  Fear is a vehicle to harness.

to which I replied: 

it sounds so pretty when you say it that way.

I've always associated fear with those who are too afraid to try anything! too afraid to change. too afraid to MOVE. too afraid to do anything but lock up inside themselves and let the world go on around them. 

Fear, by my definition, and what I've witnessed in life and people around me, has not been a motivator, but the thing that causes one to completely stall out. 

That's why I detest the word. Fear, in my vocabulary, has a very different definition than what you've just given. 

I like yours better.

prompt #14 Do you allow your fears to motivate you or stop you? What do you fear most? 

~ Blog Giveaway ~

I will be selecting two people to receive a copy of my poetry collection Three Thousand Doors. In order to get your name in the hat all you have to do is leave a comment anytime during August. I will announce the winners on Monday September 6th.

I am completely exhausted...

I spent the weekend in Dallas-Ft Worth.

Friday - Drove in to the metro-plex...construction traffic made my drive take almost 4 hours! ugh. Dinner at the Angry Dog - best hamburger EVER. Fantastic server, Vincent. Noise and bustle. Great Beer on tap. Incredible companions for the evening. Then to the House of Blues for one of my favourite bands, Blue October.

Oh. my. gawd!

I've been to several Blue October concerts. This! was the. best. show. I've seen them play! It was an acoustic show - they had big loung-y chairs, a rug and a huge comfy sofa on stage. they just kind of sat there, all relaxed-like, and...played for us. wow!

Saturday - Einstein bagel and coffee for breakfast, then drove to the Ft Worth side to visit with one of my longest friends. We had decided we'd go see "Inception." ummm...I loved it! It's one of those movies I wouldn't mind seeing in the theatres more than once!

After the movie...dinner, wine, and hours of conversation with one of the people I am most fond of.

Sunday - woke to amazing coffee. cheese danish from the Central Market bakery. a few hours of HGTV (LOVE it!) and an introduction to "True Blood."

Monday - I'm exhausted. lots of fun...very little sleep. tried to attack my piles of work today with only slight success. But! I did manage to get the remainder of my photo shoot for a project I will announce soon!

Today's prompts are as follows: write about exhaustion, friendship, food or music.
If you choose music, and would like a little help, I offer this: Peter Gabriel Here Comes the Flood because for some reason, it's the song running through my head this evening.

Raindrops on Roses...

Favourite things. Favourite people. Favourite places.

I have my lists. of people, places and things I am most fond of.
The people? well, they know who they are, I have no problem informing people of their importance in my realms.
Things? things like: perfect photographs in vibrantly lit and shadowed black & white...trees, god how I love trees - especially the baobab...wine...green olives...really good crunchy-on-the-outside-soft-and-warm-on-the-inside bread - ciabatta, focaccia...dark beer...chocolate eclairs...tiramisu...cheese - camembert, chevre, gorgonzola...used books...antiques...tattoos...music...
coffee!
Places? New Orleans - ah NOLA...what can be said. Seattle - hometown. Louisville, Kentucky - I love Louisville so much it breaks my heart. Nashville. Cincinnati. Monterey and Carmel. Santa Barbara. Coronado. Montana. The amazing rolling hills and rivers of Western Nebraska. New Mexico. Arizona.

This week, write about your favourites. pick one fave or multiple.

Lost and Found

Losing things pretty much just bites.

Lose your keys? can't drive your car or get in your house.

Lose your marbles? well...I would comment but the voices told me not to.

Lose your lunch? never want to eat pears again.

Lose a friend? Loved one?

Letting go and saying goodbye...usually not the happiest of times. and it doesn't seem to matter if it's a short goodbye, long goodbye, permanent goodbye... goodbyes tug at our hearts, bring tears to our eyes and turn us about to reflect on  when we smiled last with that person.

Think about the people that make you smile the most. What is it about them that makes you happiest. Tell them how much they mean to you, how much you love what they do for your soul. How they brighten your heart, lift your spirits, ease your worries. Then, send that letter, poem, story to them. Because it never sucks to hear that someone loves you.

Minot Monday

I'm in Minot, North Dakota. I drove up to visit my best friend, because today is her birthday. Her 30th Birthday. it's kind of a big deal.

We drove up to the International Peace Gardens, so we could stand on the border with a foot in Canada and a foot in The United States. The Peace Gardens are full of flowers, trees, lush grass (I walked barefoot for a bit...and I gave a tree a big hug) and beautiful monuments.

The newest addition to the Gardens is a memorial made of steel girders from the World Trade Center. It was moving and tragic, a painful memory of 9/11. There was a memorial plaque, and a design sketch for how they plan to finish the monument, which read: Reflect, Recall, Remember, Forgive.

I overheard someone say, "Forgive? I don't think so."

Forgiveness? wow. that's a tough one. Forgiving is hard even on a small scale.

But one of the things I've learned in the past few years, while working through my own feelings of anger and learning to forgive, is that Freedom is in Forgiving. We all work through our pain and begin to forgive in our own time, but wow! How free and light we feel when we finally do let go.

This week, use any (or all) of the following words in your writing and art: Reflect, Recall, Remember, Forgive, Freedom.