Bad habits are like rotten meat...

they stink.

I have several bad habits.

I chew on the inside of my mouth.
I smoke (bleh.)
I procrastinate.
I sometimes try to divine deeper meaning from things that are simply...simple.
I analyze certain things too much, and sometimes, I don't pay proper attention to things that perhaps needed a bit more tending.
I crack my knuckles.
I snap my gum.
I don't always maintain eye contact when I'm speaking to someone (which doesn't mean I'm bored, it usually just means that I've got too many thoughts vying for first place in my brain...but the person I'm talking to doesn't know this.)

and...I have a terrible habit of letting myself fall into patterns of mediocrity. which is a terrible thing. because I fear being ordinary more than I fear spiders.

Being stuck is a position few of us like. We want something new but cannot let go of the old - old ideas, beliefs, habits, even thoughts. We are out of contact with our own genius. Sometimes we know we are stuck; sometimes we don't. In both cases we have to DO something. ~ Rush Limbaugh

Prompt #71: What bad habits do you need to break? How do you fight off the monsters of mediocrity and ordinariness?

Fear can make a donkey attack a lion...(Arab Proverb)

Fear is an ugly word. an ugly four-letter word. 

A few months ago I had an email conversation with a dear friend of mine (we've known each other since high school.) We were discussing the upcoming release of my poetry collection (which is causing some mild anxiety - because of course, I want it to be PERFECT!)

I used a variety of words to describe my state of mind, and wrote: 

it's not fear.  it's just slight antsy-ness. a mixture of anxious and something else.  not worry or concern - but jitters.  like going on stage. excited, but mildly nauseated.  

and she repeated the word...FEAR.

I said:

but they (my words) don't sound as bad as FEAR! ...and it's not something that would keep me from doing it. there's simply a YIKES about being so close

Then, my long-time friend, my confidant, touchstone...the woman who calls bullshit on me, said:

You can’t escape fear, it’s an autonomic response.  A good one, as it’s what makes you haul ass so the saber-toothed tiger doesn’t eat you.  Or in this case motivates Karen’s DELUXE gene  – the Yikes factor – to avoid perceived failure.

Fear by itself is simply a motivator.  Fear is being on the verge, fear is the unknown, fear is the state right before a revelation, breakthrough etc.  It’s what happens on the other side of fear that can be good or “ugly.”  Fear is a vehicle to harness.

to which I replied: 

it sounds so pretty when you say it that way.

I've always associated fear with those who are too afraid to try anything! too afraid to change. too afraid to MOVE. too afraid to do anything but lock up inside themselves and let the world go on around them. 

Fear, by my definition, and what I've witnessed in life and people around me, has not been a motivator, but the thing that causes one to completely stall out. 

That's why I detest the word. Fear, in my vocabulary, has a very different definition than what you've just given. 

I like yours better.

prompt #14 Do you allow your fears to motivate you or stop you? What do you fear most? 

~ Blog Giveaway ~

I will be selecting two people to receive a copy of my poetry collection Three Thousand Doors. In order to get your name in the hat all you have to do is leave a comment anytime during August. I will announce the winners on Monday September 6th.